It’s been a whole bunch of weeks having Taavi home all day with us. We were already sure we wouldn’t send him back to that kindergarten when the current lockdown ends. Seeing how he’s relaxing back into his silly singing self has made us more sure. That place was the wrong place. We’re hopeful we’ve found a better match for him. Waiting to find out how soon he could start and then think about when would be best.

It’s been almost as many weeks since I’ve had some work hours. I’ve transitioned off of one client and am looking forward to increasing my involvement with others. But first, I’m exhausted. Today I had a larger-than-usual afternoon block of quiet time and all I could get myself to do was (1) nap a bit and (2) while still lying down, do a tiny bit of mechanical work until I got tired and had to stop.

Maybe it’s a coincidence that I feel this way after

  • Getting behind on business stuff: invoicing, taxes, payroll, and having any sort of predictable work schedule to commit to (though Bekki’s brainpower and effort have created a way for me, even in the absence of kindergarten, to start having this now)
  • Having failed to meet the needs of a client
  • An open source effort that I thought might be directly shippable turned out to have been mostly preparation for doing it again, more carefully this time
  • An open source software update that I requested has arrived, but precisely due to the consistent design choices that made me want it, putting it to use in my environment is not as straightforward as I’d hoped

Part of me thinks I’d find new energy if I could work full time on open source. pkgsrc stuff always needs fixing and extending and integrating, notqmail always needs more coding and review and planning, and I wish I had any time left over for ikiwiki maintenance. But I spent half of 2020 not earning any money and am not looking to set a new record.

Part of me thinks I’d find new energy if I could go be with people and code together with them in person. But that option is unavailable until conditions change.

Part of me thinks I’d find new energy if I were moving my body around more consistently. No doubt true.

Another thing that helps: making my work more visible. I started a fresh whiteboard, named a few workstreams, and turned a bunch of what’s on my mind into columns of roughly categorized options.

Another thing that helps: piling up some easy wins, like upgrading some software or following some manual process. Then I’m moving, things are getting done, I’m a person who does them, and the ball continues rolling.

It’s working. Phew.


What’s this?

It’s a /now page.

nownownow.com is a directory of people with /now pages. I’m listed there.

Posted January 22, 2021 at 02:37:12 PM EST Tags:

See also: /purpose.