The Data Structures final exam was tough. I did what I knew how to do, then went outside and enjoyed myself, in the literal sense. I stood just outside the entrance of Bingham, gazing through the denuded trees down the gentle slope of the Case Quad, and felt the satisfaction of having become a better me: returning to school, studying and learning, meeting new and interesting people, playing the piano several times each week, working myself into decent physical condition, balancing my time, playing at Ultimate tournaments, enjoying the company of good friends, and taking lessons — wherever they were to be found — in how to live. I've done well for myself in the past few months; today I realized just how well.

During this epiphany, my mind wandered onto the subject of school. This has been a difficult subject for me during the last four years, and while I always have an opinion about it, it never feels like the last opinion, the one I will settle on and live with forever. At times I feel it is a waste of my time, that I never have learned effectively in school and never will, that I ought to stop fooling myself and give it up. Other times I feel there is some twisted sort of value to the discipline of forcing myself, against my judgment, to finish college. Today, despite a poor performance on the final exam, I felt that it didn't matter. I know I learn best when my curiosity runs free; I know school rarely provides me this environment; I know I will never again be the star student I once was; and now, today, I know that it doesn't matter, that it doesn't have to matter, that it never should have mattered. Perhaps I will finish college one day. Perhaps not. Who cares? Not me. And so, interspersed with fulfillment, I felt unburdened of the last heavy load I had carried on my mind for so long.

Ah, to be a human being and create yourself in your image!

Late at night, after the subdued party that had materialized in the basement, I had an online conversation with a girl named Kristen, one of the people I'd met during my high school sophomore year (almost five years ago!) and had lost contact with. It was great to catch up with her a bit. Any other day, chatting with her would have been the highlight. Today, it was only a fitting way to finish.