Against competition from Ball State, Denison, Vanderbilt, Ohio State, and Northwestern, we generally played pretty poorly. Granted, the team we fielded was low on handlers, limiting our options on offense. There was little competition (as measured in layout D's) for hotel beds. We did not, in my view, acquit ourselves well as a college Ultimate team.

We did, however, eat at Olive Garden, as is traditionally warranted by a full Saturday of games. Fresh from my triumphant Cleveland hotel performance as a novice man of age, I ordered a nice big beer with my meal. It is truly lovely to be able to do this. For a couple years now, I've often wished I could, and I'm still getting used to the idea that I can. Thus emboldened, I conversed with Claire of the Oberlin women's team, and discovered that she attended a private Chicago high school with a cousin of mine. Coincidence…? I think so.

A minor, highly disorganized party ensued in the hotel. As it began to die down, four of the Oberlin girls decided to be boring and lie down in a bed. In an attempt to incite them to be more fun, Hanko and I took a shot at tying Becky's shoelaces together. She was not thrilled, and commenced flagellating us with her legs. I tried to hold them together at the knees; not surprisingly, she broke my hold, at which point I backed the hell off. Hank, still exposed, received the brunt of her rage. In self-defense, he picked her up and pile-drived her onto the bed. She pretended to be hurt, Hank came closer to see what was wrong, and she went nuts on him again. Not wanting to fight her, but trying to discourage her from further confrontation, he pile-drived (drove?) her a second time. All the girls then left. Hank was unjustly criticized for causing their departure, when in fact they left because Becky was not feeling completely on top of her game. If anyone, I should have been criticized for taking the easy route of not being Becky's prime target. But no, nobody ever criticizes me!